Monday, July 6, 2009

why dose realizing i missed a race make me panic?

why dose realizing i missed a race make me panic?

I missed last weekends race… the root 66 one in ware mass… I didn’t realize there was a race till about an hour before the start of the race … so I went through my panic mode for about 10 min till I realized that there was know way I was going to make it before the start… and I was a little bit disappointed in myself that I could let missing a race get me so worked up and worried… I go to these races for fun…so why did I get so flustered… Am I on some ego trip where I feel I need to ride my bike faster than others to prove myself ?… if I am alone riding fast and no one is around to see or care the ride doesn’t feel quite as fulfilling as if I rode fast under race conditions and had an official result and witnesses to prove that I had rode fast… so I guess @ the end of the day I am just a tool, trying to impress others…

I suppose we all tools to some degree… humans are social animals, always doing stuff to be loved, get attention and respect… if I didn’t care what anyone thought of me I would always we wearing the same sweat suit… I would ever shave and I would fart, pick my nose in public and wouldn’t race as much… if at all.

Despite the tool racing makes me I don’t think I will stop doing it anytime soon… racing is rewarding it creates goals and motivation in my life that keep me driven to be a healthy and fit person… and maybe that dive transfers over to other aspects of my life in a positive way... I suppose the same competitive drive that make a person driven also makes them more susceptible to getting worried angry or depressed when things don’t go as planned…

4 comments:

Bluest Peach said...

I can't agree with you more. Also, I think you panicked because cycling gives you the push to achieve goals your wouldn't have done otherwise. And being in the company of other cyclists is one of your ways of exposing the social side of your nature.

mikejoos said...

good point

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